Why I'm Jealous of My Husband; 10 Desember 2019
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| Image by Tú Anh from Pixabay |
Assalamu'alaikum Ladies,
Today's love letter will be dedicated to my husband, because... well, lately, he's been teaching me a lot of things without him even knowing. And I guess the saying, "you are the average of the 5 people you spend your most time with" is true, as K is the #1 person I hang out with, and he is the biggest influence in my life, whether I like it or not.
Being married to this man has been the biggest catalyst for me to be brave enaough to pursue my purpose, to write, and to serve this awesome Sisterhood that you ladies are in. This quiet, shy man has also been my teacher on many important life lessons, one of which just so happened to be "taught" in our bathroom over the weekend.
So what happened was, K was about to shave his moustache LOL and I jokingly said, "Why are you shaving your moustache? Keep it, I like it!" and without missing a beat he said, "Then you grow one yourself if you like it."
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
I was half-speechless, and half tearing up because I obviously did not expect that from K, and as I tried to oregain my composure to think of a come back, K proceeded to shave his moustache.
I haven't realised it then, but after reflecting on this incident for days (it didn't want to leave my mind 😂), I finally figured out that there's a huge lesson to be learnt from how K replied to my teasing: that because he is so comfortable and firmly rooted in his relationship with himself, he has been unperturbed with other people's false opinions about him and / or their judgements on what he should or should not be doing.
So in the case of me teasing him to "grow his moustache, because I like it" (which for the record, I don't btw), he wasn't the slightest bit swayed by this reasoning because he knows for himself that he doesn't like it on him. He stood by his beliefs.
And this is exactly how I've seen him carry himself firmly throughout our 6+ years of marriage -he has never let anyone's views to influence, affect or distract him from things that he strongly believes in: like his principles, his purpose in life, and his personal matters. When everyone said we should just work normal jobs with our degrees and stop doing this business, he reminded me of our purpose in this world, and cheered me to not give up. Whenever people suggest "quick money-making schemes" for our business or ways to be "more famous", he will just smile and thank them, but in the privacy of our own home would remind me, "never forget our values and principles, Aida. Don't be tempted with these distractions."
This ... is why I envy him. Because he is solid with himself. He keeps his head down, works hard on his own things, and minds his own business. He doesn't worry about competition, he doesn't listen to the gossip-mongers, and he focuses on getting what he wants because it's he himself who wants those things, not because it's what society expects him to want.
Ma Sha Allah.
Another reason why he's always so.... calm, and at peace is because his utmost concern is always just between him and God. Whenever I'm worried about my work, if anyone will like our Classes / Videos / Love Letters - he'll always point out to me to "just do your work for Him. It's always between you and Allah first, and if you focus on that, the rest will follow, In Sha Allah."
Just a few days ago, when a list was given to us of ladies who bought our previous classes on instalment basis but have gone MIA, K again answered, "it's between them and God. We just continue working hard."
Again.... that was another lesson for me. That if someone were to do wrong on us, then trust that Allah is all-Just. We just worry about doing what's right, and what's pleasing to Him, as Allah will always reward us for doing the right things, and He will also be fair in His reckoning.
K also taught me that our primary relationship to take care of should always be between our own selves and Allah. If our priority is to always please Him, to do good for Him, to not be in the way of anyone, to not concern us, then In Sha Allah we will live a very, very peaceful life as our conscience is always clear, and our hearts are always calm.
Come to think about it, K has never panicked in his life, (and then you have me who stresses about a million and one things 😂) and I am eternally grateful that I am able to learn so many things from him, but especially this particular trait of being firm with my principles, to always busy myself with strengthening my relationship with Him, and to mind my own business, which is also one of the most important Sunnahs of Rasulullah SAW as Abu Hurayrah RA narrated that the Messenger of Allah SAW said, "A sign of one's excellence in his Islam, is leaving that which does not concern him." [Ahmad, Malik & At-Tirmidhi]
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Before I end today's letter, I just want to say that before any of you start saying I am biased, I will be the first to tell you that I am absolutely aware of K's flaws and weaknesses. But I myself have a long list of mw own, and today... I'd just like to be grateful for the good, and to tell him "thank you". <3
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I pray that may we all lead more peaceful, calmer lives - one that is only focused on pleasing our Creator, and not His creations.
Love and prayers always,
A
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